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EMDR Psychotherapy Bonsall Fallbrook Oceanside

Published on June 23, 2012 by in Bonsall


Patrick Martin MFT, EMDR Psychotherapist, Educational Advocate, offer a healing warm environment utilizing the most modern methods in psychological treatment today, such that healing takes months, not years to achieve lasting change.

EMDR work by clearing the bad memory, allowing the patient to feel freer, more alive, and empowered. Undesirable behavior patterns transform into functional behaviors and core beliefs transform into healthy thinking.

Patrick Martin MFT, Psychotherapist, Educational Advocate, also utilize Feeling-State Theory of Substance and Behavioral Disorders Protocol which is a brief therapy that quickly improves substance addiction, co-dependence, anger, paranoia and behavioral addictions.  

The key is to do your best, whatever that is for you at the time. Maybe for a couple of weeks the best you can do is get out of bed, take a shower and put on clean clothes for the day. There will come a time when you’re feeling pretty strong and focused, and then you can make appointments with a new specialist, or talk to your child’s therapist about new goals.


There is no magic method so lets find what works for you and get you feeling better.

Your child is an extension of you.  Please read below and ask yourself the question!!

  • Have you noticed your child behaving negatively, becoming withdrawn or not being themselves after a death, a negative experience, an accident or other trauma? 
  • Does your adopted child seem to carry trauma from the time before your adoption? 
  • Is your child having nightmares?
  • Has your child been bullied?
  • Is your child plagued by fears or worries?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you child may be a candidate for EMDR therapy.

EMDR is a psycho therapeutic approach, which is extremely helpful in resolving trauma or bad experiences. It does not have to be a large trauma for EMDR to be useful and EMDR can also be used to help build a child’s self esteem.


EMDR PTSD Teenager Graphic“Why didn’t you do this with me before?”

Advocacy Consultation and Representation for Special Needs Children and Adults


Contact W Patrick Martin, MFT, Educational Advocate  if you believe your district has violated your rights or the rights of your child. Mr. Martin has 12 years of experience working with local school districts developing treatment goals and advocating for needy families. When you hold your local school district accountable, you will begin to see significant progress in your child’s education and your IEP team will be willing to meet the needs of your child and take care in implementing your parental rights.







Grief & Loss

Loosing someone (or even something) very important to you can send you on a journey that can take you through many stages. Understanding those stages and facilitating your safe passage won’t make the process painless, but it could help you get to the other side more quickly and with less damage to other aspects of your life.

Self Esteem

Having a strong sense of self can give you the ability handle the emotional challenges and even attacks that we all encounter as we strive to reach our desired goals. You can learn to nurture & support yourself as you venture into areas you always wanted to go but until now were too afraid.


Have you ever gotten the idea that maybe you worry more than is absolutely necessary. Sure, a meteor could hit you on the head as you’re walking through the parking lot, but chances are that’s not going to happen. How can you develop or restore an inner sense of confidence that everything is going to be OK, and focus your energy more productively?

Of course, it’s important to be careful, but how careful is careful enough. And if you decided on a deep level that relaxing more would be OK, how could you give yourself permission to do that.

As you share your fears and discover more about your inner world you might find that old worries and limiting ideas could slip away forever.


There’s nothing wrong with being alone, unless there is. Many people cherish their alone time while for others it’s a painful, dreaded experience. If being alone is a problem for you, I can help you understand what’s going on. Whether it’s dealing with grief and loss issues, confronting what you may be avoiding, re engaging with a support network, finding a mate, or something else, together we can work to make your life more comfortable.


Are you depressed? If you think you might be, there’s good news. Mild to moderate depression can be treated effectively without drugs. Let me help you figure out what type of depression you have, how severe it is, and what we can do so you can start feeling better again.

Example of Couples Therapy


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What is Your Pain Profile?

Published on November 17, 2012 by in Bonsall

When you think about your own pain experience, you may first think about how much you hurt. But, the full pain experience is actually broader than “how much”.

They include:

Pain Severity
Pain Interference
Emotional Burden of Pain
Pain Severity

Pain severity can be measured in a number of ways. You have likely been asked to rate your pain on a 0 to 10 point scale, where 0=”No pain” and 10=”Worst pain imaginable” or “Pain as bad as it could be”. Severity may also be assessed by asking what your average pain level is, your worst, your least. How often and how long you have had your pain problem also contribute to pain severity in Bonsall.


Pain Interference

One of the biggest challenges for pain management is trying to keep on living even though you have pain. Pain may interfere with your work performance (or even your ability to work at all). It may disrupt your relationships, your capacity to do basic activities such as showering or making a meal, participation in recreational activities, work on personal goals, sexual activity, or parenting. The number of areas that are disrupted as well as the degree of interference contribute to your overall feeling of how much pain is getting in the way of living in Bonsall.

Emotional Burden of Pain

Pain is an emotional experience. Your pain may be a trigger for fear, depression, anger, anxiety, and/or loneliness. And negative emotions such as these can feed back into your experience of pain, making pain worse. The emotional part of pain can truly diminish one’s quality of life, even in the absence of severe pain.

The Overall Pain Experience

So, the pain you feel is a combination of all three factors. You may not think about each factor separately, just as you may not think about the sound of each instrument when you are listening to music, each ingredient in a casserole, or each brush stroke in a painting. The pieces make up a unique whole and a unique experience. One reason it is important to look at the three pieces is that your pain problem can be addressed from any or all of these factors. For example, if your pain is highly distressing to you, working on managing your emotions (e.g., through relaxation, exercise, therapy) will have an impact on your overall pain experience, helping you to “feel better” without directly changing the severity of your pain or its interference. Similarly, modifying severity or interference can make a difference too.

What is Your Pain Profile?

Pat Martin LMFT offers a free pain assessment in Bonsall that examines your severity, interference, and emotional burden. Some people find it helpful to use the report in discussions with their health care provider(s).


Chronic Fatigue & Chronic Pain
Because of the chronic and persistent pain and fatigue, it is easy to get into habits of activity and rest that may not be the best way to deal with the pain and fatigue. CBT can help to identify those unhelpful ways of thinking and acting, and help us make healthy and positive changes, and therefore reduce the pain and fatigue.
Okay, I have this medical condition. What’s keeping the pain and fatigue going now?
Breaking this simplistic vicious cycle means stopping before the pain or (physical and mental) fatigue makes you stop – and scheduling in some rest periods. Thoughts and physiological factors also play a significant part in the cycle:

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Warning Signs of Suicide – SD Crisis Line 888-724-7240

Published on October 7, 2012 by in Bonsall

The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth. If you are feeling suicidal, please call our 24-hour lifeline immediately at 866-4-U-TREVOR [866.488.7386]. All calls are confidential and toll-free from anywhere in the United States 24-hours a day, 7 days a week.

Often a suicidal person may give a sign or hint in some way that they plan to attempt suicide. Here are some warning signs and facts you should be aware of.


Have you heard someone…?

Describe a specific plan for suicide: “I’ve thought about how I’d do it.”

Expressing hopelessness or helplessness: “Things will never get better for me.”

Talk positively about a suicide death: “I think she was brave for going through with it.”

Say goodbye to important people: “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ll miss you.”

Express a lack of interest in the future: “It won’t matter soon anyway.”

Express a negative attitude toward self: “I don’t deserve to live.”

Express suicidal feelings: “Lately I’ve felt like ending it all.”

Have you noticed someone…?

Using drugs or alcohol more than usual

Behaving differently than how they usually do

Giving away their most valuable possessions

Losing interest in their favorite activities or hobbies

Planning for death by writing a will or letter

Have you felt…?






Completely alone

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are not alone.

Each year over 30,000 teens and young adults call the Trevor Lifeline when they recognize these signs and need someone to talk to.

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Do you think your teenager cut?

Published on September 10, 2012 by in Bonsall

Self-Injury Basics

Did you know that there are website/blogs on “wants to cut yourself”. It’s important to note that self-injury is rarely life threatening. However, because of the revulsion many people feel about it, many therapist have an appropriate response. That said, it doesn’t matter how severe or minor the physical injuries are. It’s what’s going on inside that matters. Cutting, also known as self-injury or self-mutilation is the practice of manipulating a mood or emotional state by inflicting physical harm on a person’s own body.

What is the Payoff of Cutting?

Self-injury releases tension – both physiological and psychological – very quickly. A person who cuts can turn a state of overwhelm into a state of relative calm almost immediately. Cutting reduces panic to simply feeling bad.

It is a destructive coping skill like many others in our society – drinking, anorexia, or working too much. It does not mean the person is crazy, or that they are attempting suicide. In fact, the self-injury may relieve tension to the point that the person no longer considers suicide.

Why Do Kids Cut Themselves?

Cutting also gives the child a great sense of control. Some kids do it as a form of self-punishment, but this isn’t always the case. Many cutters use it to express feelings that there are no words for.

Cutting is not done, as frequently believed, to “fit in” or to garner attention. Many teens will go to great lengths to hide the effects of the behavior in an attempt to avoid adding shame to their already fragile mental state.

One common denominator in kids who cut themselves is an inability to express their feelings. They either never learned how to do it or were invalidated when they tried. They have gotten the idea, possibly from an abusive home life though not always, that certain feelings are wrong and not to be articulated. They may have not had a role model for coping with troubling situations in a healthy way.

Some kids are predisposed toward this kind of behavior and it may take very little to set it off. Serotonin may be involved in making some kids more aggressive and impulsive than others, therefore more likely to self-mutilate. Once a kid tries the behavior and realizes the immense stress relief it provides, it may seem like a good idea for the next time the child is under stress.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Published on July 22, 2012 by in Bonsall

Cognitive Behavior Therapy is an action oriented and time limited form of therapy based on scientific principles that can help people who are experiencing a wide range of mental health problems including depression, anxiety, self-esteem, anger, loneliness, panic, fears, substance abuse, eating disorders, alcohol misuse, trauma, insomnia, personality problems and chronic pain. It is a form of psychotherapy proven in numerous clinical trials to be effective for a wide range of disorders. The effectiveness of CBT is supported by evidence from more than 400 controlled trials as well as case studies. A typical course of CBT treatment is 12-16 sessions.

The therapist and client work together as a team to identify and understand problems in terms of the relationship between thoughts, feelings and behavior. The therapist helps clients overcome their difficulties by gradually modifying their thinking, feeling and behaving. CBT is more focused on the present with much less time devoted to childhood experiences. It is more time limited and more problem solving oriented than other approaches. What people think can affect how they feel and how they behave. During times of distress, people may think differently about themselves and what happens to them. CBT therapists can help each person identify and change their thinking and unhelpful behavior. The result is often a major improvement in how a person feels and lives. There is an emphasis on collaboration, working on mutually agreed upon problems. It is action-oriented, practical and helps the client gain effectiveness in dealing with their issues. It teaches the client to become their own therapist and therefore need not be long term therapy. The treatment focuses on changing one’s thoughts to be more balanced resulting in more balanced feelings and behaviors.

New CBT interventions are keeping pace with developments in the academic discipline of psychology in areas such as attention, perception, reasoning and decision making. The cognitive and behavioral psychotherapies target distressing symptoms, reduce distress, re-evaluate thinking and promote helpful behavior by offering problem focused interventions. The focus is often on teaching specific skills. Clients participate in treatment both in and out of session. Homework is a key component of CBT. It is practical and tests out new thinking strategies and trying out new behaviors. Similar to a personal trainer at a health club one may expect to get trained on how to exercise when the trainer is not present. The same is true in CBT. What you learn in therapy is what you practice outside of therapy. The therapist and client develop goals for therapy and track progress of goals during the course of treatment. If indicated, CBT is compatible with the use of prescribed medication.

An agenda is set to make sure all relevant material is covered during each session. The agenda is set collaboratively by the client and therapist.

Do you need help with:
Do you worry all the time and fear the worse – for no good reason?  Do you have fears of flying, tunnels, elevators, certain animals or insects, or public speaking.  Have you been truamatiized, cant sleep or have night mares and flashbacks?  Are you obsessive and just can’t stop your self?  If you answered yes to any of these then you may have anxiety disorder. Please contact me for a free consultation – there is effective help for you – its just one click away.
Are you feeling blue, can’t stop your negative thinking, loosing interest in things, feeling hopeless, or crying too much or too little? If you answered yes to any of these then you may be depressed. Please contact me for a free consultation – there is effective help for you – its just one click away
ADDICTIONS (Internet, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, gambling).
Do find that you just can’t stop doing behaviors that you know are not good for you?  Are these behaviors escalating or interfering with work, school family or friends?  Are people around you telling you you have a problem? Are concerned about your health and do not know what to do? If you answered yes to any of these then you may have an addiction problem. Please contact me for a free consultation – there is effective help for you – its just one click away.
Are you hyper critical of your self?  do you feel that you are your worst enemy? are you holding your self back from growth in your life?  Do you feel you are not good enough?  worthless? If you answered yes to any of these you may suffer from low self esteem. Please contact me for a free consultation – there is effective help for you – its just one click away.
Negative Thinking
Self Criticism
Feeling Stuck in Your life
Recovery from Sexual, Physical, Emotional, Abuse and Trauma (PTSD)
Panic Attacks
Obsessive Compulsion Disorder (OCD)
Free Floating Anxiety -Generalized Anxiety (GAD)
Fear of airplanes, tunnels, briges, elevators, Needles (Phobias)
Shyness, Nervousness (Social Anxiety)
Problems with speaking in small or large groups
Anger Issues
Grief and Loss
Health Worries
Feeling Overwhelmed
Work Stress Relationship Problems
if you answered yes to any of the above, you are just one click away to getting back on track.


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Seeking Help before Depression Becomes Life-Threatening with EMDR

Published on July 22, 2012 by in Bonsall
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Emotions – Finding Freedom

Published on July 22, 2012 by in Bonsall

Here are six ways extreme emotional responses can hurt performance:


1 –       an athlete is thinking more about the mishap (i.e. penalty, dealing with a mistake or point scored against) than focusing on the task at hand

2 –       frustration causes tension and most sports are performed best when the athlete’s muscles are loose and reactions are responsive

3 –       a negative emotional outburst can distract teammates from their role and performance

4 –       strong emotional reactions can create an energy draining effect and be hard to recover the focus and energy needed to perform

5 –       opponents can see it as a weaknesses and a loss of confidence, making it easier to steal momentum

6 –        over-excitement before the competition is played can also change the ‘task focus’ needed for optimal performance

And here are five more reasons to work on emotional composure:

1 –       more victories will go to the competitors who show consistency of composure and focus through the ups and down of a competition

2 –       teammates will feed off leaders who maintain their ‘cool’

3 –       competitors may be intimidated by the steady confidence and composure an athlete maintains

4 –       enjoyment and satisfaction of the sport experience may be enhanced due to minimizing the emotional roller-coasters

5 -        the skills associated with emotional control can also positively impact focus and overall performance

Personality, competitive experience, social environment and particular situations, are factors that can influence a person’s response and the degree to which it affects performance.   Understanding the anatomy of emotions and developing strategies for more effective responses might save a performance and potentially add that competitive edge over a competitor. EMDR can help and quickly compared to traditional therapy.

Emotional reactions can be broken down into three components: thought (cognitive), physiological and behavioral. Here is an example highlighting a negative emotional reaction with each component:

A – The thought / feeling component i.e. ‘I can’t believe I missed that shot, you’re not on today at all’

B – The physiological component i.e. increased bodily tightness & tension, elevated heart rate, depressed shoulders and head down

C – The behavioral component i.e. bang a stick and lash out at a teammate or opponent.

We can increase our awareness with all three components and learn more positive response techniques.  Here is a list of strategies than can be combined to help athletes with this very valuable psychological skill.

The thought/ feeling component of the emotional reaction largely represents the self-talk, mental images and feelings we have about a situation. Athletes can become more aware of their thoughts in a given situation.  We can learn to challenge negative self-talk statements and change them into more positive.  A technique called ‘thought stopping’ suggests that we can mentally step in and ‘park’ a thought.  We then substitute the negative thought with something more constructive.  For example, rather than staying with a negative reaction to a call the referee has made, aim to see it as a challenge to test your team’s defense in playing short-handed and to dig deeper with your effort.

Athletes can use imagery as a thought strategy as well.  Visualize a correction to the mistake and then mentally put the mistake behind you.  For difficult situations you can visualize yourself handling the challenge with poise, ease and confidence.

Strategies targeting physiological elements are arousal-regulating techniques such as taking one or two deep centering breaths, physically shaking out tension or thinking relaxation into areas of tension.  Other strategies include maintaining positive body language, keeping your eyes focused on task relevant cues and using your ability to broaden or narrow your focus.  Keep good posture or get into your sport specific readiness position.

From the behavioral perspective, some athletes develop little rituals to more formally move past the mistake or set-back.  For a goalie, it might be tap the back board as a sign it is behind him or her.  Or to grip the curling broom for two-three seconds and upon the release, let go of the mistake and physically move on.

Some final pieces of advice, the quicker and more ‘cleanly’ you can respond with positive mental discipline by using one or a combination of strategies, the less likely the emotion will plague the remaining performance.  It comes down to staying focused in the present moment and believing that “it ain’t over, ‘til its over’.

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